Harken, brave souls, to the tale I bring,
Of a land of legends, the mighty Elden Ring.
A realm vast and treacherous, with secrets deep,
Where ancient gods and fierce creatures creep.
In the Lands Between, under the Erdtree's shade,
Warriors embark on quests, not easily swayed.
With every battle, their legend grows,
Against formidable foes, their strength they show.
Mystic runes, and spirits bold,
Stories of triumph, valiantly told.
Through perilous lands, their journey they wing,
In the wide world of the Elden Ring.
So, toast to the Tarnished, in their relentless quest,
In this epic saga, their courage outshines the rest!
The Angry Troll
Elden Ring, a vast, open world filled with the same masochistic gameplay that made Dark Souls 'famous.' They say it's more accessible, which is like saying a mountain is easier to climb if it's only 99% vertical. The lore's as convoluted as an aristocrat's promise; the storytelling are cryptic ramblings that make less sense than a drunk goblin. The bosses are like angry mountain giants awoken from a deep, long slumber. Prepare to die, respawn, and repeat until you question your life choices. The graphics? Pretty, like a poisonous flower in my old swamp. This game is perfect for those who enjoy wandering aimlessly, getting annihilated by the same overpowered dragon, and calling it 'epic storytelling.'