In Tamriel's vast lands, where myths intertwine,
The Elder Scrolls Online beckons, a beacon's fine shine.
From Daggerfall's cold to Morrowind's blight,
Heroes emerge, wielding power and might.
Through Oblivion gates, to dragons that soar,
From Elsweyr sands to Valenwood's forested floor.
A tapestry woven with spell, blade, and song,
In this realm, myriad tales belong.
Khajiit, Argonian, Breton, and more,
In alliance and strife, their stories roar.
But as night descends, and taverns grow still,
It's camaraderie forged, in every guild's will.
In the heart of Nirn, as moonshadow casts long,
Our spirits unite; to Tamriel we belong.
The Angry Troll
The Elder Scrolls Online, where your dreams of epic adventure crash harder than the game itself. You get to roam a vast world of loading screens and server errors, how thrilling! Want to fight dragons? Too bad, here’s a lag monster instead. Here's the drill: trudge through the same old dungeons, but now with lag because someone on the other side of the world has a potato for a router. Remember when 'Elder Scrolls' meant quality? Those were the days. Now, they've slapped it onto this MMO bandwagon. Want a genuine Elder Scrolls experience without the monthly fee? Frankly, you're better off playing Skyrim with your eyes closed.