The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom Waystone

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The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom Canon

Release Date: 12/05/2023

Developer: Nintendo | Publisher: Nintendo

Genres: Action Adventure Puzzle

Platforms:

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Melodies & Mockeries


Behold, High Ground Gaming's resident trolls! The cheerful Gurg and the irritable Grundle — together they bring songs of praise and mutterings of discontent about The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom.

Gurg
The Jolly Troll
In lands of yore, beneath skies untamed,
The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom is famed.
Where Hyrule's secrets, like whispers, unfold,
In echoes of legends, ancient and bold.

With Link, our hero, green-clad and brave,
Against Ganon's shadow, the kingdom to save.
Through temples and trials, his journey he wends,
With wisdom of Sheikah and the aid of friends.

A princess, a warrior, Zelda by name,
In her tears, a kingdom's hope, a silent flame.
In this tale of courage, under stars so bright,
We journey together, towards the light.

In every heart, the Triforce calls,
In Tears of the Kingdom, adventure befalls.
Grundle
The Angry Troll
Oh, The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom. It's like they took Hyrule, added more air, and called it innovation. More like tears of disappointment if we're being honest. Remember when Zelda was about epic adventures and not just waterworks? Link's gone from silent hero to silent therapist, consoling Hyrule's emotionally fragile denizens. Puzzles? Those are as predictable as the game's emotional outbursts. Combat? Might as well swing a feathered duster for all the challenge it presents. And the graphics? Even a goblin's knitting has more texture. I half expected a 'Press A to comfort Zelda' prompt. If I wanted this much melodrama, I'd watch daytime TV. Missed the mark so hard, it's in another dungeon.

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