In realms both far and near at hand,
Pokémon Go sweeps through the land.
With phone in grasp, we venture forth,
From west to east, from south to north.
In parks, on streets, 'neath urban glow,
We seek the creatures high and low.
With Pokéballs, we make our claim,
In this grand, augmented game.
In gyms we battle, with teams so bold,
Valor, Mystic, Instinct, gold.
We hatch, we catch, our collections grow,
In this dance of friend and stow.
So wander, trainers, with hearts aglow,
In the world of Pokémon Go.
For in each catch, a joy we find,
Uniting all, transcending time.
The Angry Troll
Pokémon Go? More like Pokémon No. Remember when we used to play games that didn’t require us to actually move? Those were the days. Now, they expect me to wander around like a lost tourist hunting for digital critters. Great, I'm exercising, but at what cost? My dignity, that's what. And the community events? A bizarre congregation of phone zombies. Plus, let’s talk about the 'excitement' of catching the same Pokémon a gazillion times. Oh, and the joy of server crashes during a rare spawn – peak gaming experience! Honestly, I’d rather watch my hogs take a nap... at least that doesn’t drain my phone battery.