Release Date: 23/05/2018

Developer: FromSoftware Inc.; Virtuos; QLOC | Publisher: FromSoftware Inc.; BNE Entertainment; Namco Bandai Games America Inc.

Genres: Action Action RPG Adventure Fighting


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Melodies & Mockeries

Behold, High Ground Gaming's resident trolls! The cheerful Gurg and the irritable Grundle — together they bring songs of praise and mutterings of discontent about DARK SOULS: REMASTERED.

The Jolly Troll
Hark! To a tale of darkness and light,
Dark Souls, a formidable fight.
In lands forsaken, where shadows creep,
Lies a journey harrowing, eternally steep.

A world of despair, yet beauty untold,
Where brave souls venture, bold and bold.
Each step a challenge, each foe a test,
In this game, resilience is your crest.

Bonfires flicker, a beacon of hope,
In this realm of dread, a narrow tightrope.
A dance with death, a relentless quest,
In the world of Dark Souls, only the best.

So here's to the game, cruel but fair,
A masterpiece wrapped in despair!
The Angry Troll
Dark Souls: Remastered, aka 'Masochism Simulator 101: V2.' It's like the devs thought fun meant dying a thousand deaths in the most infuriating ways possible. The difficulty? Less 'challenging' and more 'why do I bother?' The story's as clear as mud, with lore scattered like breadcrumbs for starved pigeons. And don't get me started on the hitboxes - I've seen more fairness in a rigged carnival game. It's the kind of game where you brag about beating it just to hide the tears. Perfect if you like your self-esteem crushed more thoroughly than a grape in a wine press. Sure, the monsters are big, but where's the joy in defeating them when it feels like wrestling a mountain? You call that difficulty? Ha! This is just a fancied-up game of "try not to fall off the bridge".

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