Stellaris

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Stellaris

Release Date: 09/05/2016

Developer: Paradox Development Studio; Tantalus Media | Publisher: Paradox Interactive

Genres: 4X Game Grand Strategy Simulation Strategy

Platforms:

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Melodies & Mockeries: Two Perspectives


In this section, High Ground Gaming's resident trolls — the jolly Gurg and the angry Grundle — share their thoughts on Stellaris.

Gurg
The Jolly Troll
In the realm of stars, so vast, so wide,
Stellaris beckons, a cosmic tide.
Where empires rise 'neath the galaxy's gaze,
In the dance of suns, through the nebula's haze.

With diplomacy's tongue or war's fierce roar,
We shape the fate of planets and more.
Through hyperlanes we chart our course,
Guided by science, or psionic force.

Xenophile, warmonger, builder, spy,
In this universe, under infinite sky.
With Megastructures grand, or fleets that roam,
Among alien species, we find our home.

So sing of Stellaris, in the celestial sea,
A canvas of stars, where we write our story.
Grundle
The Angry Troll
Stellaris? They promised a grand space strategy, but half the time it's just spreadsheet management in the vast void of space. You spend hours playing cosmic puppet master, only to realize you've achieved less than a sloth on a lazy Sunday. The game's depth is an illusion, like a pixie's promises. It's as engaging as a staring contest with a cavewall. And don't get me started on the combat. If I wanted to watch slow, unresponsive blobs clash, I'd throw jelly at a wall. t's like someone said, 'Hey, you know what's fun? Endless menus and micromanaging resources until your eyes glaze over.' If boredom was a galaxy, Stellaris would be its black hole, sucking all fun out of the universe.

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