Slay the Spire

Slay the Spire, it's a card game that moves slower than a stone giant under a drowsy spell. The thrill of climbing a tower with cards? If I wanted to climb something endlessly without reward, I'd take up mountain hiking. The graphics look like they were drawn during someone's lunch break on Microsoft Paint. And the randomness? If I wanted to be constantly disappointed by chance, I'd go back to playing bingo with retirees. It's like they mashed together RPG and cards and forgot to add the fun part. Slay the Spire? More like 'Pray for Desire' to even finish this card-carrying snooze fest.