Crusader Kings 3

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Crusader Kings 3

Release Date: 01/09/2020

Developer: Paradox Development Studio | Publisher: Paradox Interactive

Genres: Grand Strategy RPG Strategy Wargame

Platforms:

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Melodies & Mockeries: Two Perspectives


In this section, High Ground Gaming's resident trolls — the jolly Gurg and the angry Grundle — share their thoughts on Crusader Kings 3.

Gurg
The Jolly Troll
Oh, Crusader Kings, a game of high estate,
Where empires rise and fall, a twist of fate.
In a realm where strategy and cunning blend,
Each noble house seeks to ascend.

With schemes so dark, the night would shiver,
And alliances as fickle as a river.
You marry for power, not for love’s sake,
In a world where every smile is fake.

Yet amidst the treachery, there's charm, there's wit,
As you rewrite history bit by bit.
A grand tapestry of medieval lore,
In Crusader Kings 3, never a bore.

So here’s my song, to this royal dance,
In the halls of power, take your chance!
Grundle
The Angry Troll
Crusader Kings 3? More like Confuser Kings. It's like they took a history book, shredded it, and turned it into a game only a PhD could love. The interface? A labyrinth that'd confuse even Daedalus. You spend more time navigating menus than actually ruling. And the gameplay? Marriages, alliances, managing a kingdom – feels like planning a never-ending family reunion with relatives I'd rather toss off a bridge. I miss the good ol' days of straightforward looting and pillaging. None of this highbrow royal soap opera nonsense! Want to see your medieval dynasty flourish? Better have a spare lifetime. It's a grand strategy game that forgot the 'game' part. Perfect for those who enjoy turning family trees into pretzels and getting a headache from endless stats and scheming.

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