Counter-Strike: Global Offensive

Release Date: 21/08/2012

Developer: Valve Corporation; Hidden Path Entertainment | Publisher: Valve Corporation

Genres: Action FPS Shooter Tactical Shooter

Platforms:

Official Website | View on Steam

Melodies & Mockeries: Two Perspectives

In this section, High Ground Gaming's resident trolls — the jolly Gurg and the angry Grundle — share their thoughts on Counter-Strike: Global Offensive.

Gurg Grundle

Gurg

The Jolly Troll

Hark! To the land of gunfire and might,
CS: GO, a warrior's delight.
In battles fierce, with strategies tight,
Where every shot rings through the night.

Terrorists and Counter-Terrorists in a deadly dance,
A game of skill, chance, and circumstance.
Bombs to plant, hostages to save,
In this arena, the brave behave.

Snipers lurking, rifles in hand,
In dust and mirage, the bold make their stand.
A symphony of bullets, grenades' loud song,
In this world, only the strong belong.

So raise a cheer, for this game of skill and might,
Where in the flash of battles, CS:GO shines bright!

Grundle

The Angry Troll

Counter-Strike: Global Offensive? More like Global Repetitive. You humans and your tiny pew-pew toys, running around in circles like headless chickens. It's the same old shoot, die, repeat with graphics that make you nostalgic for last decade. The community? Oh, a charming mix of shouty teens and mic-spamming philosophers. Strategy goes out the window faster than your patience in a match with hackers. You'd find more cooperation in a cave of arguing trolls! And the skins market? A glorified pixel casino where wallets go to die. The maps have more campers than a national park, and let's not forget the joy of getting blasted by someone who clearly hasn't seen sunlight in weeks. Perfect for masochists who love déjà vu with a side of rage.

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Counter-Strike: Global Offensive